I’m willing to bet a grand of bucks on the fact that everyone might have had atleast one day in their lives when things just didn’t go to plan. And that’s what the infamous Murphy Law is all about. For those as yet unacquainted with Murphy’s Law, it goes like ‘Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.’ It does seem a simple innocuous sentence doesn’t it? Not so much I can assure you, when you become the hapless victim!
25th January 2008, Friday
It was our final year in school. Twelfth grade. Our board exam going batch had just been to school to collect the marks of the final Model examination conducted. An announcement had been sent out in school just after lunch that a dignitary is going to pay our school a whirlwind visit and that last two hours were suspended so that all classes can listen to his address. With the pangs of leaving behind a blissful school life already haunting us, we decided to hang around to hear the talk although we had been exempted (with the intention that we would go back and start studying of course!). If only I had gone home…
1500 hours: We gathered in our school Auditorium and displayed military precision in our assembly lines as the Chief Guest was ushered in by the Principal and other dignitaries to the loud heralding by the school band. He was promptly introduced to us as Mr. Prasad Agarwal (name slightly changed), a high-ranking IAS official who had been to visit our nearby Refinery and was consequently invited to speak to us too.
1510 hours: Mr. Agarwal took over the lectern with a flourish and engaged us in an interactive talk about how enticing the life of an IAS officer was and how they could influence decisions made by the top brass that would alter the way we lived. The whole school was all ears at his dynamic speech and we were feeling glad that we had stayed back to hear this speech…
1545 hours: A junior came sneaking up to me in the half-lit last row and poked me urgently, ‘The Principal wants you to go to the backstage. Right now!’ I was startled out of my wits. What could the Principal possibly want out of me now? My best friend nudged me and whispered, ‘You idiot! Don’t lurk around here. Just go and see what she wants!’ With a sinking heart I made my way through the side aisles to the backstage where the Principal was pacing up and down. ‘Ah thank God you were present today. I have to take care of some arrangements. You are to deliver the Vote of Thanks after this.’ It was not a request or even a question. Just a plain direct order. And I could not protest as I was the Student Prefect and it was one of the duties we had to carry out. But this was asking too much! Being told just five minutes before that you have to deliver a VoT was unprecedented. Not to mention unnerving!! As a last resort I begged and coaxed my male counterpart Prefect to take over. Flashing me an evil grin and citing the excuse of having to head the band he rushed off mouthing ‘Good luck!’
1550 hours: The main stage was applauding the chief guest as he made his final pointers much to everyone’s appreciation. I was sweating out like anything trying to go through the order in which I would thank each VIP on the dais while willing myself to keep a cool head and telling nothing would go wrong…
1600 hours: The comperer called my name telling the crowd that I would be presenting the vote of thanks. I walked onto the lectern and lowered the mike and started off, ‘Good evening to everyone present here…’ Thanking my lucky stars for a smooth take off, the heady tension began to ebb away slowly as I eased into the rehearsed pattern. And suddenly, Disaster struck! I went ‘I’d like to thank our esteemed chief guest Mrs. Prasad Agarwal for finding time amidst his busy schedule…’!! The instant it left my mouth, I was horrified!! What in the world made me say that?? The crowd in front broke into peals of laughter as I realized that the microphone had amplified that extra syllable that slipped out of my tongue! It was a mini mayhem out there as teachers tried to hush the kids who were clutching their aching sides and laughing and telling the unfortunate ones who’d missed hearing the tongue-slip. On stage, I dared to take a sneak-peek from the corner of my eye at my unintended target but he seemed oblivious to the uproar as he was immersed in an apparently interesting talk with the PTA Executive. Momentarily comforted by that sight, I did some damage control by marshalling my courage from rock bottom and the rest of the speech went uneventfully.
1605 hours: Beating a hasty retreat from the main stage, I ran into the Principal who suppressed a smile and assumed a stern countenance before clearing her throat and said, ‘You have to apologize to him you know, he’s sure to have heard it.’ ‘But ma’am…’, I protested weakly but she’d already pushed me right in front of Mr. Agarwal. Get over with it, I told myself. Worst come, he’ll be offended and walk away. ‘Err... Excuse me... Sir?’ He looked at me smiling benignly, ‘Yes my child, can I help you?’ ‘I came to apologize sir’, I said. ‘What on earth for?’ he asked looking genuinely puzzled. ‘Well, I... accidentally, referred to you as ‘Mrs.’ Instead of ‘Mr.’ during my vote of thanks. The speech was all last moment’s notice and (I shamefully hung my head) it just slipped out of my tongue’, I said. He took me aside and said in a whisper, ‘My child, looks like Murphy got the better of you today!’ ‘Who sir?’, I asked, not having the faintest idea what he was talking about. ‘There’s something called Murphy’s Law which goes like ‘Whatever that can go wrong, will go wrong’. Don’t worry about it. In fact, you know what? I never even heard your little slip-of-tongue until you told me just now!’ Seething inside at the Principal for forcing me into this corner while feeling eternally grateful to him for making light of the issue, I thanked him and was about to turn away when he said, ‘You do know what Lord Krishna counsels in the Bhagwat Gita right? He doesn’t at all advocate lying, but he does imply that one can delay the breaking of bad news to people for the greater good, if the occasion justifies. Get it?’ Saying that he winked and rejoined his group and they made their exit. I saw the Principal smiling at me and hurrying out along with them.
1610 hours: The great man walked out to a standing ovation in which I joined heartily, still pondering about the final pearls of wisdom he had imparted…
So that’s it folks. The day when Murphy’s Law hit me in front of a thousand plus strong crowd. But I’m ever so grateful about it because that was the reason why I learnt about this ‘law’ in the first place and also how to tactfully break unpalatable news to people, the Krishna way!
P.S: To the dear friend who challenged me to write about this embarrassing incident in a public platform, checkmate dude!
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